The Bottom Line in Rescuing a Dying Relationship | by Karen Nimmo | On The Couch

Three-steps to test whether you can make it.

Most couples who land in therapy are in conflict.

A few sign up to iron out any wrinkles at the outset of their relationship. That’s smart — but rare. Most are gridlocked, have been that way for some time, and are unable to find their way forward.

Sometimes, the problems are apparent from the moment they step into the therapy room — or take their seats on the couch. It’s in their body language, it’s in the way they position themselves in the room.

Sometimes, it leaks out slowly as each takes the chance to explain their perspective. Sometimes, a Hell storm is brewing and boundaries need to be set.

So working with couples is a delicate dance for a therapist, while you stay neutral and absorb the stories, perspectives and needs of each person.

Meeting a couple for the first time is fun.

I don’t say that flippantly. As a therapist, I’m all too aware that therapy is not fun for the couple. Usually, the things that have led to sign up are the very opposite of fun.

But I’d be lying if I didn’t say it wasn’t intriguing to watch the dynamic between them…