Drawing Lines in the Sand: Boundaries

The prevailing narrative is that setting personal boundaries is a helpful way of preserving health and well-being. This is what I will accept, and this is what I will not. These are the terms upon which I am willing to engage with the world. Some self-help gurus encourage us to state these requirements clearly and calmly, and to enforce them in the event they are infringed.

As a species, we have always had to navigate boundaries, both those we set for ourselves and those set for us by others. We know when speaking with Arthur, who can be quite prim and proper, not to swear. We can drop the occasional F-bomb with Beth, who swears like a trooper, but she gets very worked up when we start talking about politics, so we’ve learned to talk about other things instead. Chris is on our ideological wavelength, so political chit-chat with him is fair game, but he doesn’t like talking about his mess of a personal life, so we make a point of never asking him about it. And, in turn, Arthur, Beth and Chris make accommodations for us.

It’s the A-B-C of rubbing along. It’s called being polite. It’s also a mark of emotional maturity.